by Alan Simmons, CSP

Day-night, rich-poor, cold-hot, wet-dry, boss-employee: The words conjure up contrasting ideas, things which are at opposite ends of an imaginary scale. Our organizations, families and much of our culture, view themselves on the basis of these concepts. We compare almost everything in our experience, including ourselves.

Our tendency in western cultures is to look first for what makes us different from something, or someone, else. You live in Alberta, I live in Ontario. You are tall, I'm not. You are president, I am supervisor. Whatever the identification we use, consider the impact it can have on everything we then see in the circumstance. All aspects of it are then defined on the basis of the difference, the antithetical nature of our definitions causes us to see, and react, on the premise that we are not the same.

So What! Who cares! Valid questions.

To explore the idea further, ask yourself What If!

What If I looked at my client as someone in the same business as I am! What If I viewed my boss (staff, managers, supervisors) as people aimed at the same goals as I am! What If I first saw every person I connect with as having the commonality of the same planet! What If I considered all experiences as good ones, even though they may be things I don't want to experience a second time!

Notice how these questions can dramatically reposition your thinking. Notice how your view of the world changes as you ask them. Notice that it is not the world which changes, but, rather your view of it.

Thinking controls feelings, which controls actions. Notice how your feelings and actions change in the process of asking different questions.

It's important to note that none of the differences we see are necessarily negative. In fact, differences are both negative and positive, which is a key element of this entire way of thinking. Positive and negative can exist at the same time. Good and bad can be simultaneous. In-out, up-down, and most other so-called opposites, co-exist.

Eastern cultures have long-understood this concept of co-existence of apparent contradictions. In some parts of our planet, the application of such an idea is found in every aspect of life, from religions, through to the pragmatic environment of competitive business enterprises. We could learn from thousands of years of experience in those cultures which see diversity as positive, contradiction as something to embrace, and the simple reality that on a round planet we cannot truly take sides.

Action Step: For the next 24 hours take note of all things from two points of view -your own, and the other folk. Hold any judgment until both have rolled through your mind. You might surprise yourself.

Most people will read this article once, put it aside and move on to something else. What If you did the opposite of most people and read it again!

Alan Simmons, CSP
Internationally recognized Certified Speaking Professional